I think this is the longest I’ve been without updating. Several whole days, my poor neglected blog-readers! I started having guilt-dreams, and this is the only way to make them stop. I’ve been distracted by the imminent destruction of my country. There have been reports that rioting’s spread to the West Midlands, where NOTHING ever happens normally, but I don’t think things have been too bad in this corner of Britain. I’ve mostly been obsessively stalking the Facebook walls of friends who live in London and Manchester and Birmingham to make sure they’re OK, and reading Nick Griffin’s numerous stupid statements on Twitter (DOES THE MAN HAVE NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO?).
I have also been doing cleaning:

I’ve noticed that in every job I do, I make up a happy fantasy in my head that involves me being somebody else entirely. When I’m working in Germany, I’m usually in the Dutch resistance, which I’m sure says something about my relationship with Germany that we don’t need to psychoanalyse. In the UK I usually pretend I’m a Soviet worker. It means I’m really efficient.
I still haven’t heard back from anyone in Sheffield about Crazy Plan II. This isn’t great, because I’m getting increasingly nervous about it. I’m hoping that if they say I can come, but can’t start till September 2012, then I might be able to get a job from March till then to repair my hysterically damaged funds. The more I think about staying in Germany, the more nervous I feel. I think it’s a personality problem I have. I’ve noticed that if you’re reserved in Germany, it’s treated more like a personality flaw. Whereas I’ve become increasingly annoyed with people saying that I’ve got to come out of my shell, since that shell’s actually PART of my personality. People here mind less that I’m quieter. Maybe I shall move to Finland, because I’ve heard that they are quite reserved. Although I’m not sure I’d be able to keep up with the drinking, as we’ve discovered that even extra strong cider results in Drunken Stroopwafelface. IS THERE NOWHERE I BELONG?

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