It all snowballed from 'I could do with a couple of things for the house, and I have some vouchers from work. I shall go to Homebase' to 'I HAVE A DESIGN VISION FOR THE FIRST FLOOR. IT MUST ALL BE NAUTICAL THEMED. I WILL BUY A SEASCAPE FROM OXFAM':

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'LOOK I CAN PRETEND I AM ON A BOAT'.
'THE GROUND FLOOR SHALL REMAIN BEIGE AND RED AND ORANGE. I SHALL BUY A THROW TO BE IN KEEPING WITH THIS PRINCIPLE':
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In short, I've gone totally mad and am now stressing about the fact that I've got no pictures of my family up, because normal people have pictures of their family up, don't they? What if they come to visit and think I don't love them? But then again, I've got an awful lot of family and quite a small house. I might run out of wall space. Also I would like a doormat. And a dressing gown. A nautical-themed one. Also I've put my Plattdeutsch calendar up.
My entrance into grown-up society feels like a witness protection scheme of some kind. I MUST APPEAR NORMAL. BUT I AM WORKING SO HARD AT APPEARING NORMAL THAT IT'S TOTALLY ABNORMAL.
I'm going to have something to eat now. I forgot to have brekkers and lunch. I think this is why I've gone mad.
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