Soon I will be entering a House of Pain and Sin. Not some kind of very alternative club locally, but a gym. Normally I hate gyms because the thought of physical activity in public is almost offensive to me. However, this gym has A BOULDERING WALL:

I've wanted to take up some kind of climbing after discovering I was deeply talented after a school trip to Llanrug. I have a theory that any talent I have in the field of climbing is due to being short, and having to climb up on kitchen surfaces to get to cupboard because even a chair doesn't get you enough height (I wish I was making this up). Also as a child, I climbed trees LOADS. Probably to get way from marauding siblings.
So that should be good. Obviously I'm too scared to go alone, so am trying to convince colleagues to come with me. It'll also fool me into 'keeping fit', because I'll be so busy pretending to be in training for becoming a Soviet spy that I'll forget that I'm just a normal person in a tiny town doing quite a normal thing (the same principle applies to paintballing. And, in fact, the fantasies I create in my mind to get through a normal working day).
Another thing I'm obsessing over thinking about is turning my house into even more of a boat. My plan is to get port and starboard naval lanterns, like so:
I would then display one in each of my two living room windows. Then in the window above it, near the map, I'd display a model ship of some kind, but I haven't found one I like yet. I've been concentrating on bidding on eBay for the lanterns. Of course, the issue is finding the money for my stupid whims (especially as I'm saving up for transport home and to Sweden in the next 3 months, and for getting a provisional driving licence next month. Oh, and maybe a mortgage. But that's boring, so I won't go into all that). Luckily, a benefit of worrying as much as I do is that I'm not prone to impulse buying, so I'll probably grow tired of the idea before I get the cash together.