I have ever been on the very cusp of fashion trends that those young people tend to enjoy. I have pleasure in presenting my latest trend – FISHWIFE CHIC:

fishwifechic
It came about with me wanting to wear a dress to work, but not wanting people to notice that I was wearing a dress to work. This seems, I know, like a bit of a paradox. Sadly invisibility cloaks are not real. If they were, I would drape one over MY FACE thus saving myself and others much misery, but in their absence, I had to compromise by wearing my tradition fisherman's jumper OVER a dress, meaning that it looked like I was all like 'o lol just casually chucked this dress on, then a jumper over it to keep warm, nothing to see here', and NOT all like 'O LOL I AM WEARING A DRESS WHEN NORMALLY I DO NOT WEAR ONE, PLEASE TO STARE AND MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT HOW UNUSUAL IT IS THAT I AM WEARING A DRESS'. It worked very well, I think, despite the prevailing winds outside adding to my dress-based anxiety. Hopefully it looked all casual and NOT like I got up early especially to decide whether to wear a dress and to panic about it for a bit.
Sadly, I am not really as hardy as a fishwife and have picked up a stinking cold, accompanied by the kind of cough that makes people edge away from you as they suspected it might be consumption. I came into work early today-alas! It was too early, for I forgot that the gates are locked till 8am, meaning I hung around outside in the bone-chilling cold looking all forlorn for ten minutes. Then the cleaners, having observed my predicament, chuckled at me in a Northumbrian manner.
Now I have about 54 blankets piled upon me. Only my eyes are visible. Also my hand occasionally creeps out of the blanket pile to shove cough sweets into my face.
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