I'd been doing SO WELL at keeping my mentalism away from my driving, so I guess it was inevitable to a degree, but I was doing GOOD driving for so much of the lesson, then one things went wrong, and it upset me, so more things went wrong, piling up into a heap of dangerous and upsetting incidents (no lasting damage to property or humans, although it was quite a close call. Then loads of crying (from me, rather than the instructor, who wisely keeps his tears hidden from his students). I'm really frustrated with both myself and with this anxiety that means I can't move on from things without obsessively analysing them. If I'd have just told him that I was feeling too shaken up to drive for a few minutes, only ONE of the things would have gone wrong, instead of ALL of the things. I understand stuff like this has to happen so I know how to avoid it in the future, but if I can't calm myself down and avoid panic attacks enough to drive, that's when an illness becomes a disability, which is less than ideal. Things have been hard enough at work, and the thought that things are spilling over is terrible, because it adds a degree of urgency about getting better. If I don't, where do things stop?
Argh. OK. This seems like a big thing now, but hopefully, after I've eaten something and maybe hidden under my duvet slightly, this will seem like less of a terrifying thing and more like a minor setback.