This weird scar I've developed is GREAT. It appeared on my neck after I'd woken from my nap, after a third stress dream about having to speak Swedish on the phone and realising I didn't know words like 'very'. I don't know if this is demonic possession or something. I look very tough though:

So tough that I don't even have proper hands, according to this picture. I think it's actually because I'm very pale due to Celtic genes and lack of time spent outside, so any scratches show up really easily and look more alarming than they are. This one makes it look like somebody's tried to cut my throat. I feel like wearing a t-shirt which says 'you should see the other guy'.
Luckily I think scars are really cool so don't feel too self-conscious about it.

Since that's the most interested thing I have to report- here, have some surveys I stole from :

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I would be 88. I am an old lady in so many ways.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
YOU MUST NEVER FAIL

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
I am so tired that this question confuses me and also it's Friday so I am not going to work it out.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Almost certainly. I started this blog in May 2008 and have been talking rubbish ever since!

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
QUEUE-JUMPING sums up everything that's wrong with our society and I would outlaw it.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Writing books about Dylan.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
LATTER

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
Well, I'd be middle-aged, which I pretty much am mentally. I'd maybe get a few babies under my belt before my demise? I mean, I want to anyway, but could probably put it off. OH AND ALSO I WOULD START TO LEARN FINNISH.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I have NO control. I'm like…a blind train driver with no hands or sanity.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Both equally!

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
CALL THEM OUT. I really would now. A couple of years ago I wouldn't have been assertive enough but I am now.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Newborn babies cannot understand normal humans! This is known. Awwww babies.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Totes.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
No, but I've seen creativity where I've later seen insanity.

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Hold a pencil and make tea. The pencil thing's hard to describe but involves my ring finger somehow, and with tea, I put the milk in with the teabag before the hot water and STOP SHOUTING AT ME I KNOW IT'S WEIRD.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because not everyone likes woodlice manufactured by IKEA, but they are mostly idiots (the people, not the lice)

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I'd like to study dialectology, but can't because I can't afford it. And I'd also like to go to Mongolia some day, but the same problem of lack of funds remains.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
A whole bundle of grudges, from justifiable ones to the fact that I was once unfairly told off in year 5!

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
O I just don't know. I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to attempt emigration after my failed move to Germany, which has clearly traumatised me a bit.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I had no idea that people thought this could happen.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I don't know, but as it is, I'm a worried simpleton.

22. Why are you, you?
A GENETIC ACCIDENT

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
NO I forget birthdays and am useless at giving fashion advice.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Losing touch! I tend to keep in touch with old friends rather than making new ones because I hate change love you all.

25. What are you most grateful for?
DYLAN

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I dunno, it would make my job quite difficult if I couldn't make ANY new memories ever, so I guess I'd better lose the old ones.

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

I'll refer that one to Dylan. He says 'NO, STUPID HUMAN'.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Sort of! Not my greatest fear, as such- that would possibly be losing all of my family and being totally alone, but it's almost incomprehensible to me anyway because I've got so very much family.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
YES. That queue-jumper must pay.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
The births of various siblings, which punctuated my childhood.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
I liked a good protest when I were a young lass. It feels like ages ago that I went on a protest, but I guess I started youngish- I was a mere 13 when I went to that big one in That London.

32. If not now, then when?
Dylan says 'SHUT UP'

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Dylan says 'I WANT TO GO ON A MULCH HUNT NOW'

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Kind of. I'm quite scared of talking to people anyway so am always relieved by comfortable silences.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Now, I'm not sure that religions DO cause wars. I think that people can use it as an excuse for war in the same way that they used nationalism, but I don't think that religions are solely to blame. I mean, I've read the Bible and the Koran, because I had that kind of time as a teenager, and never had the urge to start fighting anyone, because I didn't grow up in an impoverished war zone, and none of my friends or family have been killed in a war. If they had been, then I'd have been drawn into war in the same way that thousands of people are today, and possibly I'd have used religion to justify what I did, but I think it's a complete oversimplification to say that religions are the root cause of war. Fine to criticise them for the role they may play in war, less fine to just place all the blame on them.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
I refer you to my comments on queue-jumping.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Probably not straightaway, because setting up a University of Dialectology takes time.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
The latter, I think.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Yeah, this is pretty much a standard Friday in Katie's life.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I have literally no idea what that means.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
What, EVERYONE? Even the queue-jumpers?

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
I'm already both, so there'd be no point.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
THERE ISN'T ONE, HUMAN

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
NEVER. If you know it's right, then presumably you've already calculated the risks and rewards.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because sometimes mistakes make you look IDIOTIC.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I'd just walk around in my pyjamas, occasionally crying, I guess.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
BEFORE I FELL ASLEEP. ANXIETY WIN.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
Dylan, and I made him a blog. My dad, and I sent him some Dylan merchandise. Pizza, and I'm eating it.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Oh I hope not. Very little of note happened.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

DO NOT BE RIDICULOUS

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